Mind and spirit trapped in contradiction,
unlaced in rivalry, addicted to conflict and compelled by the " what if
" given by life, like a puzzle that doesn't end I realize this handicap
might be the very first step to a cure it Still remains the fact that its
uncontrollable, making it harder to vanquish.
Yet again writing this, the complete ignorance
of what it’s about puts me in a state of wonder, I am devoted to look for the
" ah Ha" moment of these lines but it lacks the sense it should make
in my mind, the complete coherence one should look for in every step of their
lives. These random lines are yet necessary, because they release me from the
vault of my own mind, I escape with each sentence and can't help but wonder
what the other is going to be. I smile after each one of them and am amused by
the complete meaningless use of words, it’s like throwing them in the air and
hoping they would make sense for themselves while falling freely, It should of
been part of the " Maslow Pyramid of Basic Needs" that men should
look for a place where they make much sense than the actual reality, maybe
there, finally they would eventually be satisfied, even if such place exist
only in ones dream, in deep endless corners of a twisted mind, a place where
whatever spark of thought is relevant and pure surreal genius, and so what if
so only applies to the almighty creator of this wonderland, he would feel the
pride he purposely reflected on himself from his own work. I am looking for
such a place, where the lines I'm currently writing would mean anything to
someone, anyone! Even the least, maybe it exists in a far undiscovered corner
of my own subconscious, my own place, one I linger to create and become the
refugee, or maybe I’ll find it in the unreal world shown in dreams, maybe I'm
just becoming a serious lunatic, who knows? I wouldn't know now would I? If I
knew I would of never wasted time writing this, and you, if you knew about such
a thing would you have read this? In the other discovered corner of my brain
I'm thinking maybe I should break head and keep pouring these nonsensical
thoughts hopefully the Ha-ah moment I so long for will show up in a surprising,
pleasing hopefully brilliant manner.
TJ.
